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Jeanie Dicus'
Near-Death Experience
Jeanie
Dicus' near-death experience was first published
in P.M.H. Atwater's book, "Beyond
the Light" (1994). It is reprinted her
by permission.
One evening in
January of 1974, Jeanie Dicus of Sterling,
Virginia, was lying on the sofa watching
television. She remembers feeling strange,
then waking up in an ambulance and being
told she had had a seizure. Nothing like
that had happened to her before, nor was
there any family history of such a condition.
This event was followed by a migraine headache
and more seizures. Later, she, her husband,
and her daughter drove to Baltimore where
her father was a psychiatrist consultant
at Johns Hopkins Hospital and where they
were assured she would receive the finest
care. Her case was given to the head of
neurology and she was put on Dilantin and
phenobarbital, normal medications for what
appeared to be epilepsy. However, Dicus
got much worse and was given yet another
drug in addition to the two she was taking.
Within three months she had become schizophrenic
and was given Valium, as well. She steadily
advanced into insanity, was straitjacketed,
and confined to isolation in a! mental ward.
Her medication
was increased and Thorazine was added to
the concoction she was forced to take. She
became suicidal and lapsed into one seizure
after another. More drugs. More compounding
effects, until, by summer, she was engulfed
in a catatonic coma that lasted two months.
A ward doctor finally noticed what was going
on, went to Dicus’ father and said, "All
her symptoms are the result of the medications,
not from mental illness. Stop the drugs."
The physician in charge was immediately
pulled off the case and shock treatments
were applied in an attempt to free Dicus
from the coma. By the time this decision
was reached, her hands and feet had atrophied
and were twisted and paralyzed, her skin
was covered with pimples. Electronic shocks
did make a difference, but during the tenth
treatment her heart went into fibrillation
- a nurse had forgotten to give her a necessary
shot of potassium - and she died.
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I was
floating above my body. I saw green
shower caps. The people in the room
all wore those stupid caps. There
were five or six caps and they were
panicky. Their fear was so thick
I could feel it. I kept thinking,
'Hey, I’m okay, don’t worry,' but
they didn't get my message. This
was a little frustrating.
I found
myself in the right-hand corner
of the room. I lifted my arm and
stretched. I had been immobile for
so long. It felt like I had taken
off a body girdle, and it was so
delicious to get out of that cramped
body. I felt a wonderful feeling
wash over me - a sense of peace
and power. I felt love and a sense
of wonder as I realized that any
question I could come up with would
be answered.
There
was Jesus. I was stunned and said,
"I don’t believe in you."
He smiled
and said the etheric equivalent
of, "Tough #####, here I am."
Looking
in his eyes, I asked, "You mean,
you’ve been with me this whole time
and I didn’t know?"
And his
reply was, "Lo, I am with thee,
always, even beyond the end of the
world."
Now, I wasn’t
into 'lo' so I said, "Hey, man,
this is the seventies and we don’t
say lo. Come on."
He kind
of grinned, I guess I was amusing
him, and answered, "You want to
be reincarnated?"
"Hey, give
me a break," I yelled (only I made
no sound). "I just died. Don’t I
get a chance to rest?"
"Take it
easy. It’s all right. You can change
your mind at any time."
I gasped,
"I don’t even believe in you and
now you want me to reincarnate?
Help!"
Our conversation
continued. He even asked me to kiss
his feet. No way. I gave him a bear
hug and kissed his cheek. I got
the equivalent of a belly laugh.
I was so happy with him that words
were no longer necessary. We then
communicated mind-to-mind.
Suddenly
I was aware God was coming. I came
to know that I had needed a human-looking
Christ to relate to so I wouldn’t
be scared. The Light came and I
was given a choice - I could remain
trapped on earth, seeing and hearing
everything, but unable to help anyone,
not even my daughter (I was told
this was limbo), or I could stay
with God. I chose God.
The White
Light in front of me was sorta like
a white light bulb only it was so
strong. I remember thinking my eyes
should be burning, but then I remembered
that I didn’t have any eyes to burn.
God was love and love was light,
and it was warm and it permeated
every molecule of me. This was so
delicious, I was crying with torrents
of tears that didn’t exist. It was
so enormous. I was loved. I didn’t
feel irrelevant. I felt humbled,
awed, and amazed. For a long time
after my near-death experience,
I ended my prayers with, "You are
soooooo big!"
It was
my way of expressing appreciation.
Then I
was instantly zapped to a domed
room with square screens up and
down the walls, on the ceiling-hundreds
of television screens. On each screen
was a home movie of one event in
my life. The good, the bad, the
secret, the ugly, the special. Everything
was going on at once; nothing was
chronological. All was silent. When
you look at one screen, you focused
in, and you could hear what was
there. Not only words, but your
thoughts, your feelings, everything;
and when you looked at the other
people or animals, you could hear
their thoughts, their feelings,
too. And you made the connection
between these and the event which
ensued. You were filled with, not
guilt, but the strong sense of responsibility.
God said
to me, "I gave you the precious
gift of life. What did you do with
this gift?"
I answered
in a puny, wimpish voice, "I’m only
twenty-three. I didn’t know I supposed
to do anything. I have a two-year-old
daughter. I spend my time and energy
on her."
It wasn’t
a good answer, but it was the truth.
I was the judge and I was satisfied.
I guess that was what God wanted.
But the next time this happens,
I’m having a list ready. I now have
a card on my fridge that says, 'Practice
random kindness and senseless acts
of beauty.'
I asked
a lot of questions, about sin, murder,
and such, and I got a lot of answers.
I was told that before we’re born,
we have to take an oath that we
will pretend time and space are
real so we can come here and advance
our spirit. If you don’t promise,
you can’t be born.
I understand
that the reason I was ripped away
from paradise was for my father.
He could not have taken my death.
He had a Jewish surname and a Jewish
nose, lived in France, and was a
doctor and captain in the French
army during World War II. At that
time, the French believed that Nazis
were their allies. He was on a hill
when he looked down and saw the
German army invading France. He
fled and just barely made it out
alive. He wound up in New York,
turned against any form of God or
religion, and became a stanch Freudian
psychoanalyst . He married a psychiatric
nurse and had three daughters, of
which I am the oldest. As I grew,
I became an atheist just like my
father and married another one,
a freshman at Princeton who did
not believe in God or anything-yet
he earned his Ph.D. in philosophy
so as a professor he could get paid
for arguing about religion and still
get six months’ paid vacation a
year. When I revived, I had tubes
all over me. Dad was sitting next
to my bed humming French songs,
and had been for weeks, which is
a monumental feat considering that
he is almost tone deaf. I hummed
back. He shot up about three feet
in the air, landed flat on top of
me, gave a war whoop, and hugged
me and cried. You have to remember
he is a dignified psychoanalyst
going on sixty, trained never to
blink an eye-so much for promising
him I wouldn’t tell.
I am psychic,
whether I believe it or not. I’m
a stay-at-home mother. I don’t have
dynamic thoughts about the world
of business or politics. Yet I feel
an internal pressure, A NEED TO
MOVE, to find a direction to be
of more service. I’m still adjusting
to the earthplane. It’s been twenty
years and my experience is clearer
to me than yesterday. Change that
"twenty" to (almost) thirty, and
that's what happened. There are
a few changes I'd make ... by the
time I went into the coma I was
put on Dilantin, Phenobarbital,
Valium, Stelazine and Thorazine.
When I came out of the coma I was
on 100 milligrams of Haldol. That
stuff was the pits. And it was awful
getting off.
Since
then I've changed my direction from
palm reading for God to quilting
for him.
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About Jeanie's NDE,
P.M.H. Atwater has this to say about it:
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"I truly
wish I had enough space in this
book to carry all of Jeanie Dicus’
story. Certainly, it is filled with
mind-numbing tragedies. But to hear
her describe what happened, especially
when she was talking to Jesus, well,
it’s the funniest thing I have ever
come across. Amazingly, she was
able to hear what the medical personnel
said when near her body during the
time she was in coma.
"No one
would accept Dicus’ near-death experience
afterward, especially not her father
or husband. Wheelchair bound, she
was put on Haldol, a chemical lobotomy,
and given a bleak prognosis. Over
time she was allowed to go home.
What she went through in the hospital
and afterward is frightful. After
several surgeries to repair some
of the damage to her hands and feet,
she decided on her own to decrease
and finally stop all dosages of
Haldol, and did so without its deadly
side effects. Although she had two
more children, life with her husband
became impossible. He couldn’t handle
her "newness" or her claim that
the Light she had come to love so
dearly had guided her to take up
palm reading. He left. She later
remarried, this time to a gentle
man who supports her "strange" ideas
even though he doesn’t understand
them. They have a child, her fourth.
A self-taught palmist, she continues
to amaze people with her ability
and the power of her love."
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Beyond the Indigo Children
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by P.M.H. Atwater
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P. M. H. Atwater connects the arrival
of the Indigo Children with the
fulfillment of the Fifth World of
the Mayan Calendar and other great
prophecies, providing detailed information
about the world changes that will
take place before and after December
21, 2012, and the worldwide ascension
of energy now occurring, which will
take humanity to the next level
of development.
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We Live Forever: The Real Truth
About Death
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by P.M.H. Atwater
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P.M.H. Atwater gives details and
deep insights into what really happens
when you die and what it truly means.
She also explores such mysteries
as heaven and hell, the soul's existence
after death, and the power of prayer.
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The New Children and Near-Death
Experiences
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by P.M.H. Atwater
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An in-depth study of children
who have experienced an NDE
and the pattern of aftereffects
which follow. Atwater notes
that the child who returns from
an NDE is not the same child
as before, but is a "remodeled,
rewired, reconfigured, refined
version of the original."
Atwater shows that understanding
the NDEs of children can help
us prepare for a quantum leap
in the evolution of humanity.
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The Complete Idiot's Guide to Near-Death
Experiences
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by P.M.H. Atwater
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This 480-page single source book
contains all information pertinent
to the NDE phenomenon, both positive
and negative, as seen from 360 degrees,
including new cases and new research,
combined in a lively yet respectful
style, with five appendices. This
book is the "encyclopedia"
of the NDE and is the most comprehensive
book in the field of NDE studies.
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Beyond the Light: The Mysteries
and Revelations of Near-Death Experiences
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by P.M.H. Atwater
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An in-depth investigation of the
dynamics of NDE states based on
over 3,000 interviews with NDE survivors
over a 16-year period. These survivors
include adults and children from
a variety of racial and cultural
backgrounds. Atwater describes the
4 types of NDEs and the basic profile
of the survivors of each type. Included
are descriptions of NDE-like episodes
and other anomalies, the full range
of NDE after-effects, "the
light" of enlightenment, revelations
which NDE survivors bring back,
plus a host of material on topics
like electrical sensitivity, black
angels, and brain shift.
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Coming Back to Life: The After-Effects
of the Near-Death Experience
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by P.M.H. Atwater
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Based on extensive interviews with
over 200 NDE survivors and thousands
of their friends and relatives.
Atwater, herself a survivor of 3
NDEs, examines the major after-effects
which survivors experience, including:
a shifted view of physical reality
and disorientation in the world
of time and space; expanded intuitive
and psychic abilities; spiritual
transformation; difficulty with
communication and relationships
and an inability to personalize
emotions and feelings, especially
those of love.
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Future Memory
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by P.M.H. Atwater
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"Future
memory" allows people who have
an NDE to "live" life
in advance and remember the experience
in detail when something triggers
that
memory.
Atwater has experienced the future
memory process firsthand following
her own three NDEs. She shows how
these "rehearsals" for
future events differ from other
modes of futuristic awareness such
as clairvoyance, precognition, and
deja vu. Atwater describes how the
unifying and permanent effect of
the NDE is a "brain shift"
which may be at the very core of
existence itself and indicative
of higher evolutionary
development.
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