Laurelynn
Martin
was at the height of a promising tennis
career when she had a routine surgical
procedure that catastrophically sent her
into an ecstatic world of light, beauty
and love on the "other side." She was
Home – Home in the Light! The following
are excerpts from her book,
Searching For Home, which
describes her near-death experience. She
also has a
website as well. Her book is a
powerful story of a young woman's love,
hope and healing after a near-death
experience.
Ken Ring said this about her
experience:
"Reading Laurelynn Martin's account of
her near-death experience and changed
life can change yours. Many books have
been written about such encounters but
this is surpassingly rich in the
spiritual insights it offers. More, it
tells a humdinger of a story – surely
one of the most inspirational journeys
of transformation and healing. It
deserves to become a classic."
She helped me slide onto the operating
table and gave me a motherly look.
"Don't worry. We know it's your first
time. We'll make this a most pleasant
experience for you."
With those reassuring words, I drifted
off to sleep. I awakened and found
myself floating above my body, off to
the right side, looking down, watching
the attempts of the medical team trying
to revive the lifeless form below. I
viewed the scene with detachment. The
surgical team was frantic. The color red
was everywhere, splattered on their
gowns, splattered on the floor, and a
bright pool of a flowing red substance,
in the now wide open abdominal cavity.
At that moment, I didn't make the
connection that the body being worked on
was my own! It didn't matter anyway. I
was in a state of floating freedom,
experiencing no pain and having a great
time. I wanted to shout to the
distressed people below, "Hey, I'm okay.
It's fantastic up here," but they were
so intent on their work, I didn't want
to interrupt their efforts.
I had traveled to another realm of total
and absolute peace. With no physical
body my movement was unencumbered.
Thought was the avenue for travel. I
floated up through blackness where there
was no fear, no pain, no
misunderstandings, but instead a sense
of well-being. I was enveloped by total
bliss in an atmosphere of unconditional
love and acceptance. The darkness was
warm and soft, a blanket of velvety
love, stretching endlessly. The freedom
of total peace was intensified beyond
any ecstatic feeling I've ever felt on
Earth. In the distance, a horizon of
glorious white, golden light beckoned me
forward.
As the brilliance increased and the
encompassing rays stretched to meet me,
I felt that time, as we know it, was
nonexistent. Time and existence were a
blending and a melding of the past,
present and future into this one moment.
A sense of all-knowing enveloped me.
Every part of my being was satisfied
with an unconditional love beyond
description. All questions were
answered. An inner peace without
striving or achieving was created and
understood.
It flashed in my mind; this was the
pleasant experience the nurse had spoken
about. I understood why she didn't
elaborate. Words and descriptions
somehow lost the essence of the
experience.
As I admired the beauty of the light, I
was drawn closer, feeling the radiant
warmth, infinite love and lasting peace.
I felt as if I were home – home in the
light. Before I became further engulfed
in the light, I became aware of many
spirits. They surrounded, embraced and
supported my journey with their
gentleness, knowledge and guidance. I
felt one of them approach from my right
upper side. This familiar presence came
forward and my feelings changed to sheer
joy when I discovered my thirty year old
brother-in-law, the one who had died
seven months earlier from cancer. My
essence moved to meet his essence.
I couldn't see with my eyes or hear with
my ears, yet I instinctively knew that
it was "Wills." I heard his smile, saw
his laughter and felt his humor. It
didn't make sense, but it made complete
sense. We were separate but we were also
one. It was as if I had come home and my
brother-in-law was here to greet me. I
instantly thought how glad I was to be
with him, because now I could make up
for the last time I had seen him before
his death. I felt sad and a bit guilty
for not taking the time out of my busy
schedule to have a heart-to-heart talk
with him when he had asked me to. I
realized I was not being judged by him
but by myself. I was in his position –
dying, wanting to say goodbye to those I
loved, and then meeting people like
myself not "getting it" – not getting
that all the achievement, money or
recognition in the world cannot be taken
with you when you die. The only thing
you take with you is the love you give
away.
Wills gave love away his whole life. In
a sense he was ready to leave our
physical world and continue his work in
the spiritual world. People, like my
sister, who were left behind without
their beloved, sometimes didn't
understand. I would have to remember to
tell Gwen about my discovery.
The ones who depart are in a loving
space with much guidance, understanding
and purpose. Their wish upon departure
is not to bring sorrow and grief to
others but to honor the divine plan. It
is their time for transition, for the
continued development of their soul.
Many times, the departed loved one will
work in ways to help, serve and guide
others.
Wills' gentle guidance allowed me to
view my innocence. I understood,
instantly, life was about people, not
pursuits. I was putting pursuits first
as a means to seek approval and love
from people. Once I understood, I
forgave myself for my actions and in the
act of forgiving I received love in
abundance.
By giving love, one receives and
experiences a tremendous love from the
universe.
Wills was like the "Spirit of Christmas
Past." By reviewing my past, I was
brought to new places of discovery
within myself. Many events were shown
simultaneously. I recalled two examples.
When I was five years old I teased Tammy
Fowler, another five year old girl, to
the point of tears. I was now in a
unique position to feel what Tammy felt.
Her frustration, her tears, and her
feelings of separateness were now my
feelings. I felt a tremendous amount of
compassion for this child. I was Tammy
and needed love, nurturing and
forgiveness. My essence gave love to
both of us – a love so deep and tender,
like the love between a mother and
child. I realized by hurting another, I
was only hurting myself. Again, I was
experiencing oneness.
The next incident was similar. I had
made fun of Billy Bradley, a scrawny,
malnourished asthmatic kid. He died when
he was seventeen years old from a
cerebral aneurysm. He seemed to be in
the realm of existence I was in. Yet,
still I was not sure where I was. When
Billy was twelve, he had written me a
love letter that I rejected. I was
experiencing his pain which became my
pain. At the same time, I felt a
tremendous amount of love for this boy
and myself. My contact with him went
beyond the physical and I felt his soul.
He had a vibrant, bright light burning
inside of him. Feeling his spirit's
strength and vitality was an
inconceivable moment especially knowing
how much he physically suffered when he
was alive.
The message was clear. The message was –
LOVE.
Above and beyond anything else, one must
first learn to love oneself
non-judgmentally and unconditionally.
Then one will actually love all people
and all things the same way.
I realized how important people were in
life, how important it was to accept
them and love them. And I finally
understood the old Mohegan Indian saying
I had heard when I was in Girl Scouts,
"Never judge another squaw until you
have walked a mile in her moccasins."
As I reviewed my life with Wills, my
judgment prevailed and I remember
thinking, "I've done worse things in my
life." My question was answered before I
finished my thought.
All events in your life are significant.
To bring an understanding of all things,
even the experiences which you consider
insignificant, will bring you to places
of great awareness and compassion.
By the time my review was finished, I
understood. I was aware of an almost
cathartic release. I experienced emotion
without the physical signs of tears. It
brought me to a deep place of
understanding and compassion. I never
took the time to think how my actions
affected others or how I treated myself.
I felt a grieving for all my unconscious
actions. With awareness of my unaware
state, I released all the grief I had
ever caused and joyfully moved into
forgiveness.
Other thoughts were conveyed and I
remember thinking, "Wow, now I get it.
Everything about our existence finally
makes sense." I had more questions for
Wills. The transference of information
was immense and reassuring. He kept
saying, "All is known. You have simply
forgotten."
I didn't feel like I knew anything; yet,
there was a place in me that knew
everything. I asked Wills if I could
stay. He said, "It's not your time yet.
There's been a mistake. You have to go
back."
I remember thinking, "Okay, I'll go
back, but I can get back up here."
At that same instant his thoughts were
mine, "You can't take your own life.
Suicide, for you, isn't the answer. That
won't do it. You have to go back and
live your life's purpose."
I responded, "I understand, but I don't
want to go back."
Wills' thought came to me again, "It's
okay. We're not going anywhere. We'll be
here for you again." His last
communication was, "Tell your sister,
I'm fine."
With those final thoughts, I felt myself
going back, dropping downward through
darkness. I was not afraid. Instantly, I
felt myself slam into my body.
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