John: |
The first thing that's
coming through is your son. Do you have
a son who's passed?
|
Mary: |
Yes. |
John: |
Has he passed in the last
two years? Did he pass in June or July? |
Mary: |
Yes. |
John: |
Who's Tony? Is that his
dad? Please let his father know he's
okay. Very important. He says Dad's all
alone, lost.
|
Mary: |
That's true. |
John: |
He's showing me a lacrosse
stick. |
Mary: |
His dad coaches lacrosse. |
John: |
Is his father a teacher?
Because he's showing me my high school.
I went to Glen Cove High.
|
Mary: |
He teaches at Glen Cove.
You know him. |
John: |
I know his father? Don't
say his name. Normally I wouldn't say Glen
Cove High School, I'd just say high school.
Hold on. Is this an impact passing? Is this
a vehicular kind of thing? Was he hit by
a car? Was he on a bicycle?
|
Mary: |
Yes, he was. |
John: |
He wants you to know he's
okay. Who's Robert? |
Mary: |
His grandpa. |
John: |
He wants him to know
he's okay. And who's Mary, besides you?
Has your husband's mother passed?
|
Mary: |
No. |
John: |
It's on his side of the
family. Was the passing Andrew's fault? |
Mary: |
I don't know. That's what
we're trying to find out. |
John: |
Because in a very minor,
minor way he's telling me the accident was
his fault. He's showing me my bicycle when
I was a kid. With a humongous flag. It's
not that, right? I feel like he wasn't visible.
Was this in a residential area?
|
Mary: |
(Nods). |
John: |
I feel like he jutted
out. I feel like he's taking responsibility
for this. She might have been going faster
than she should have, but I feel like he
was the one who jutted out. Is he Johnny?
Or Joey? Who's that?
|
Mary: |
His friend. |
John: |
And Steven? Who's
the "S"? |
Mary: |
Steph? |
John: |
Is that his friend? |
Mary: |
Yes. Girlfriend. |
John: |
Who's Danny? |
Mary: |
Another friend. |
John: |
Was he in seventh grade,
or sixth grade? |
Mary: |
No. |
John: |
Was he sixteen or seventeen? |
Mary: |
Sixteen. |
John: |
He was showing me a six
or a seven. Feels like there's a distance
between you and your husband. Instead of
coming close together, you're here and he's
there. You guys need to talk, to get connected
again.
|
Mary: |
I know, but I don't know
how to do that. His father is very much
hurting. |
John: |
He says you have to tell
his father he's okay. It's important. He
needs to ... I feel like there's a constant
water-flow of emotions. He has not dealt
with this and it's important that he knows
that his son is okay. He has to give himself
the time and opportunity. The grief seems
like he just cuts it off. You're more accepting
of this passing. It doesn't mean you
like it any more. He just had so many aspirations
and like, "He was a smart kid. Why
did this happen?"
|
Mary: |
Does he have a message for
his brother? |
John: |
He might not, so don't
look for that. Does he have his shoes or
his sneakers?
|
Mary: |
Andy was wearing his father's
sneakers. |
John: |
Who's Chris - who's the "C"
or "K"? |
Mary: |
Friend. |
John: |
Does he have a ring? Or
does your husband have his ring? |
Mary: |
He has a watch. |
John: |
He's showing me something
symmetrical. Did your husband want to give
him one of his rings and he didn't get an
opportunity to? He's talking about
a ring ... Did he play hockey?
|
Mary: |
That's what I was looking
for. |
John: |
And you buried him with
a jersey? |
Mary: |
Not with a jersey, but a
hockey stick on his headstone. |
John: |
Because I see something
sports-wise. Did you have a floral thing
made with the sports?
|
Mary: |
Yes, the room was filled
with floral arrangements in hockey motifs,
and his hockey jersey was hanging.
|
John: |
Also, does his father have
something around his neck that was Andy's? |
Mary: |
He wanted a chain but
he didn't get it and when he died (Tony)
went out and got it for himself.
|
John: |
A gold chain? |
Mary: |
Yes. Andy wanted one
and he never got it. And out of the
clear blue my husband went out and bought
the same chain Andy wanted, without knowing
which one it was. And my husband never liked
chains or jewelry.
|
John: |
Okay, tell your husband
he was guided to buy that by his son. I
must not have had him [as a teacher]. Because
I keep asking him to tell me who the teacher
is.
|
Mary: |
I'm sure you had him. Because
when I walked in I knew you knew him. |
John: |
You did? |
Mary: |
It was the way you said
his name. |
John: |
Now I want to know who
it is! I'll go room to room [in the high
school building] ...Okay, I just said, "Take
me into the building," and he took
me in the front entrance. And I said, "Should
I go right?" And he said no. So I said, "Should
I go straight?" And he said yes. So
I went straight and he gave me the feeling
it's downstairs on the first hallway. Yes?
|
Mary: |
Yes. |
John: |
Don't tell me. I will get
it. I know who it is ... does he teach social
studies? |
Mary: |
(Nods). |
John: |
You know how I know?
Because your son said to me ... I said "Do
something that I would understand, that
I would identify with one of my teachers."
The only teacher who ever threw me out of
a class ... Mr. Miracolo?
|
Mary: |
(Nods and smiles) |
John: |
I knew it! He was
the only teacher to ever throw me out of
a class. I had a trigonometry class that
I wasn't ready for the next period. And
I asked your husband for a pass to go to
the bathroom. And instead I went to an extra
help class for trig. And when I came back,
Mr. Miracolo looked at me and said, "You
- out!" And your son showed me
that. He wants you to know he's okay. Did
he have a certain restaurant he used to
go to all the time? They have a mirror
up in this restaurant with a like scratchy
glass on it, like you can kind of see through
it but you can't. I feel almost like your
husband was looking in that mirror and he
saw your son. Your son's confirming that
you did see him when you thought you saw
him.
|
Mary: |
Does he know how much we
love him? |
John: |
Just understand that this
whole session comes through to you out of
love. |